FU Theodor Geisel

I have always wanted to have a stuffed Lorax in my house. No, not a nice cuddly stuffed animal, but the real thing. You know they are out there. Cryptozoology is right on the verge of making a big announcement. I expect it on the National Geographic Channel sandwiched between Whale Wars and The Dog Whisperer any day now. His flaxen bushy mustache, golden orange coat, and quizzical look he would stoically pose next to the bookshelf in my living room and ignite conversation.

"Where in the hell did ya find that?"

"Beyond a dying patch of Grickle grass in the hollowed out trunk of an old Truffula tree."

"I thought all the Grickle grass and Truffula trees were gone."

"Nah, just a nasty rumor dreamed up by some PhD looking for something to publish. Industry did do some work in keeping the resources viable."

“Interesting. I guess even the makers of those Thneeds have an economic interest in the
systems well being."

"Yeah, I suppose. And they give the PhD’s something to study.”

“Seems like a win-win to me.”

“Yeah, but the two sides have their heads so far up their collective Sneetches that they will never come together to find a real solution."

"True."

"Beer?"

"Sure."

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So, now today I have a new goal,
I search out a Lorax to vanquish it's soul,
I'll look in the Birch, the Maples and Oaks,
I'll look in daytime, the sun, and the rain when it soaks,
Searching and finding and you will soon see,
To the all the extremists I say, "bite me."